Tag: pisces

The Signs as Strange Planets

Aries: Wasp 12 b ; Orbits WAY too close to its star making it slowly die.

Taurus: HD188753 ; Has 3 stars, everywhere you look there’s a sunset/rise.

Gemini: 55 Cancri e ; A gigantic diamond worth about 26.9 non million dollars.

Cancer: GJ 1214 b ; Completely made of water, no land.

Leo: Gliese 581 c ; Can possibly support life in a small area but 1 side is too hot and the other too cold.

Virgo: Kepler 452b ; The most earth-like planet.

Libra: HD189773 b ; Rains glass sideways constantly.

Scorpio: TrEs 26 ; Darkest Planet ever, glows red.

Sagittarius: Wasp 17 b ; Largest Planet ever.

Capricorn: J1407-B ; Has rings 200 times bigger than Saturn’s.

Aquarius: Gliese 436 b ; A ball of ice that is constantly on fire.

Pisces: HD 106906 b ; The loneliest place et, 1.1 times bigger than Jupiter.

the signs as internet typing styles

aries: all lowercase very moody
taurus: tends to start aCCELERATING IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR SPEECH,, USES LOTS OF COMMAS,,,
gemini: also all lowercase very moody and uses ‘2’ as an abbreviation
cancer: LISTEN UP MOTHERFUCEKRS TODAY YOURE GONNA LEARN ABOUT SOME DUMB THING LIKE MUG BROWNIES
leo: uses the :3 emoticon
virgo: Those People Who Dont Know What A Proper Noun Is
libra: L33TSP34K
scorpio: Those smug bastards who type like this and are reeeally condescending hun(:
sagittarius: Uses proper spelling and syntax but no periods
capricorn: InVaDeR ZiM Is So RaNdOm xD
aquarius: when people type and you can just hear their accent over the words. wanna go to cheeky nandos, bloke, ya a complete madman
pisces: Exclamation points!!!!!!!!!

The Zodiac as my Absolute Favorite Posts from this Hell Site

kawaiijohn:

Aries:

“dude i know that you want to fuck the granny queen from bugs’ life”

Taurus:  Obama Chuckled, “You mean the Chaos Emeralds?”
Gemini: “Cinderella III: A Twist in Time is the best Disney movie”
Cancer: This series of vines
Leo: “HEY!! YOU THERE!!!!!”
Virgo: THIS VINE
Libra:

“WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE???”

Scorpio: 
MY PRECIOUS POWERRrRR RING! GONE FOORRVVERrrr..

Sagittarius: 

“bugs can be three things; homies, chillers, and haters”


Capricorn:

LOOP ZOOP



Aquarius: WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS???
Pisces: “So last night i got drunk and played Skyrim”

The Signs as Psychic Abilities

astroalive:

Aries: Pyrokinesis, the ability to start and control fires with the mind.

Taurus: Telekinesis, the ability to move objects with the mind.

Gemini: Remote viewing, the ability to perceive a being or object beyond the grasp of traditional faculties.

Cancer: Empath, a person who is able to feel the emotions of others and sometimes even hear their thought and can make others feel a certain way.

Leo: Channeling, someone capable of receiving and relaying information from entities beyond our realm.

Virgo: Energy healing, the ability to channel and manipulate energy in order to heal others or themselves.

Libra: Telepath, a person with the ability to read the thoughts of others or transfer their own thoughts to them.

Scorpio: Death-warning, those with the ability to experience premonitions of death, whether it is their own or another’s.

Sagittarius: Precognition, the ability to see the future, to have an intimate knowledge of what is to happen before it does.

Capricorn: Medium, an individual capable of contacting those who have passed away and relaying their words to those alive.

Aquarius: Clairvoyance, the ability to see individuals, events, etc. which are beyond natural perception.

Pisces: Astral Projection, the ability of one to leave their physical body to travel other realms both physical and non-physical.

the signs as divination methods ✶ more posts

The signs in group chats

bombasstrology:

Aries: Is never really there, replies maybe once or twice, and then leaves. 

Taurus: Randomly messages in and out, says stuff when no one is talking. 

Gemini: Always there, they are the people that make the chat interesting, they keep it fun and always have something new to say. 

Cancer: Wants to know how everyone else is doing and makes sure everyone in the chat is happy.

Leo: Are they in the chat? Are they not in the chat? Super active at random times, then silent for a while. 

Virgo: Usually replies to everything and really fast, unless they’re busy. 

Libra: Extremely active, and answering quickly half the time, and the other half no one ever knows what they are doing. 

Scorpio: Reads the messages but doesn’t reply, they leave the chat to take a nap.

Sagittarius: Sends the latest memes, they’re usually in and out of the chat.

Capricorn: Is never really in a group chat, they prefer to text one person at a time.

Aquarius: Reads all the messages but chooses not to reply unless they know they can keep a conversation going, mutes the conversation when it’s too many notifications. 

Pisces: Rarely replies, they read the messages but don’t see the point in answering anybody unless it’s something interesting.