aries: Shepherds? You tend sheep? … In full armor?
taurus: This is delicious! Wait what did you say- Ow my fingers- OH GODS IT’S IN MY EYES! (Hits head.)
gemini: I WANT TO BE MANHANDLED
cancer: Urgh. Just stab me and get it over with.
leo: Le sigh
virgo: I think that every creature is weird and wonderful in its own way! …Except cows. Cows just annoy me.
libra: Now I shall pretend to engage in agriculture. Chop chop, shovel!
scorpio: (sweating nervously) Oh, this is just wonderful…
sagitarius: Uh, can anyone else fight that well with a pot on his head?
capricorn: He gives orders. I stab people. I think our roles are clear
aquiarius: Okay, just stop. You’re not even sighing. You’re just saying the word “sigh.”
pisces: I’m not much of a mood guy, I’m afraid, unless we’re talking gruesome bloodshed…